Grief and Resilience

I recently read an article that spoke about resilience and grief. It stated that our brain is wired to handle grief—that we may experience anguish, shock, even woundedness, but most of us manage to regain our equilibrium, some faster than others. The article says that 10 percent of us experience “chronic” and relentless grief that demands counseling. Another third or so plunge into deep sadness and gradually begins recovery. But most of us—between 50 and 60 percent—can often appear to carry on as normal once the initial pain of the loss has passed.

I polled my siblings and asked them why we were “okay” when our parents died. Why didn’t we need counseling? Did we not love them? Our mom and dad were awesome. We were sad and missed them but we didn’t plunge into darkness. Perhaps because they appeared to “accept” their impeding deaths, they gave us the gift to perhaps do the same. We were all (mom and dad included) grateful for the gift of life, no matter how untimely the death. 

If you are one of the 50 to 60% of grievers whose brain allows for resilience when grieving, then good for you. This does not mean you aren’t sad or deeply missing and longing for the person you lost, but that you are able to return at some point to your day-to-day lives.

Remember that sudden and tragic deaths, or your own unique circumstances, impact the way you respond to loss. Even if you are a resilient person, in the immediate aftermath of a loved one’s death most of us struggle to cope. If you need additional guidance to set you on the path to recovery, then please check out my book and the amazing reviews it has received.

Thank you so much to those who wrote the reviews.  I’m hoping to stay high up in the Google rankings and spread the mission of Courage Road. Here's a super easy link to write a review of me, as your grief counselor, or my book. Review My Book On Google 

If you want to read the full article about grief and resilience, you can do so here. It’s well written and has lots more thought provoking ideas about the grief journey.

Posted on August 22, 2018 .